


A Lot More Profanity With A Lot Less Virginity

by sumomomochi



Series: The 'Verse in Which Dirk is Anime Horatio Caine [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, BDSM, Consensual Kink, Crossdressing Kink, Dom John, Dom/sub, Frottage, Humiliation, M/M, Panty Kink, Public Sex, Spanking, Sub Dave, Underwear Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-09
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2017-12-07 14:34:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sumomomochi/pseuds/sumomomochi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GG : and you want to stick your dick up your boyfriends pooper!<br/>GG : that makes total sense to me??<br/>GG : so quit being a dumbass</p><p>In which John steps it up, and so does Dirk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow my first go at writing ACTUAL BUTTSEX in like six years. Strange.
> 
> Also I keep circling back to Dave's shoulders dislocating during sex and I'm not sure how :I So heads up for that.

You spend a lot of time reading, going through everything on the wipipedia again, except this time you don’t skip over the stuff having to do with male subs. Or really, just stuff having to do with dudes in general. You’ve officially been dating Dave for two months. It’s a real thing now, not just stupidly fucking around on the internet or even a fling you thought you’d... 

You thought you’d get bored. But you didn’t. This is the first relationship you’ve had in two years, and the first person you’ve been with since Jade who’s willing to play along with your kinks.

Except Dave doesn’t really play along. He’s entirely into it; giving up his control gets to him the same way having total control gets to you. He fits with you so perfectly that you find you’re not even all that bothered by him being male, which, somehow, freaks you out.

It’s stupid so naturally you go to whine at Jade about it.

EB : jade i’m pretty sure i’m in love with dave  
GG : lol so you’ve said before you dork :3  
EB : but i mean it this time! i’m not just pining over someone on the internet, i actually know him!  
EB : and i really like him....  
EB : so much i’m not freaking out over him being a dude WHICH IS FREAKING ME OUT.  
GG : WOW THATS DUMB!!  
EB : you’re telling me :T  
EB : but like, dicks are weird, sure. and it’s kind of weird touching one that’s not mine because the angle’s all wrong and dave has foreskin and that’s just kind of...  
EB : idk what it is  
GG : wow thanks john i really needed to know about your boyfriends dick!!! hee hee  
EB : like i guess i’m worried about ripping it or something? like how does foreskin even work we just don’t know.  
EB : eheh sorry.  
EB : but i can’t really talk to anyone else about this? like it’s basically you or dave.  
EB : or i guess dave’s brother. he’s pretty cool but i think that would be twice as weird as talking to you because dave’s said he’s a porn star.  
GG : omfg  
EB : and i don’t think i really want to tell anyone else right now.  
EB : that i’m dating a guy, i mean.  
EB : i think terezi has figured it out because she was there when he gave me a pair of his underwear. i tried to play it off as a prank but they dated.  
EB : so i think she knows.  
EB : i mean they DATED so she totally knows what he’s like so i really don’t think there’s any way she took that as a joke.  
EB : bluuuuh  
GG : uh wow okay :O  
GG : um im not sure what to tell you???  
GG : besides like you know  
GG : youre a dumbass for freaking out because youre not freaking out over dating a dude  
EB : but jade!  
EB : jade you don’t understand DX  
EB : i don’t like guys but i like dave and i’m okay with that, because dave.  
EB : but...  
EB : i think i wanna fuck him in the butt.  
GG : PFFFT AHAHAHA OMFG JOHN HEEEHEHEHEHE  
EB : fuck you i’m being serious DX  
GG : heeehehee  
GG : just do it then?? like if its something he likes i guess  
EB : oh man he does. like, a LOT.  
GG : okay!!! there!!!! see no problem :D  
EB : uugh jade you are no good for having soul searching conversations with DX how am i supposed to have epiphanies when you’re just always like wow john youre stupid why think when you can fuck your boyfriend :DD  
GG : gosh fine i wont help you then  
GG : aaaaaaaaaaand quit thinking so hard heehee x3  
EB : bluuuuugh  
GG : youre just going around in circles and making it worse for yourself you dummy  
GG : you JUST SAID that you dont care that daves a boy because you like him anyway  
GG : and that you arent really bothered by your sudden interest in boys, which isnt too surprising since youve been okay saying a dudes attractive since before WE started dating  
GG : the suddenly sex!!! part doesnt bother you i mean  
GG : and you want to stick your dick up your boyfriends pooper!  
EB : dihfasdoifhagsa’  
GG : that makes total sense to me??  
GG : so quit being a dumbass and stuff  
EB : and stuff.  
GG : and stuff :3  
EB : you are brilliantly philosophical.  
GG : and youre an asshole :3  
EB : ugh i’m being really dumb aren’t i?  
GG : yeah basically  
GG : are you going to tell him????  
EB : tell him what?  
GG : that you love him silly!!!  
EB : uh maybe?  
EB : i sort of have a couple of times. it’s like..... idk how to explain it.  
EB : but when i’ve...  
EB : ugh words  
EB : basically after i’ve  
EB : THERE IS NO GOOD WAY TO EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT USING TERMS OR SOUNDING LIKE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE OMFG.  
GG : *pappap*  
EB : uuuugh  
EB : AFTER  
EB : after everything when he’s coming back to reality and stuff, that’s when i tell him. because i think i do just in general, and in that moment i definitely do because he’s done exactly what i wanted him to, when i wanted, how i wanted.  
EB : and he does it because HE wants to and he’s so perfect.  
EB : it feels totally natural to tell him i love him then, so i do.  
EB : but i don’t really know how much of it he remembers afterward because he’s usually pretty busy freaking out, you know, during.  
EB : which is totally normal btw.  
EB : last time had me freaking out too. jesus shit it was intense.  
EB : he let me choke him.  
EB : he WANTED me to, honest to god.  
EB : he has a ring of bruises around his neck even still and he’s just so god damned smug about it  
GG : is he okay??? :O  
EB : yeah. he’s got a medical thing that apparently means he bruises really easy?  
EB : his joints dislocate a lot too. it’s kind of scary.  
GG : wow :O  
EB : yeah.  
EB : so i didn’t....  
EB : … choke him that hard WOW THIS CONVERSATION IS REALLY WEIRD.  
GG : ahahah yeah it really is XP  
GG : but even though youre talking about strangling your bf youre really cute about it!!!  
GG : all i can hear is you sighing dreamily X3  
EB : iafodasighasdf  
GG : so in my professional opinion you should tell him.  
GG : and also frick him in the butt ;D  
EB : thank you doctor jade i will take this prescription over to him immediately.  
GG : heehee x3

**=== >**

You take Jade’s “prescription” over to Dave immediately, bouncing on his bed when you drop to sit on it.

“Let’s have sex,” you tell him before you can chicken out.

He snorts, “Wow you really know how to woo a lady, don’t you.”

“Yeah,” you snicker, kicking your feet, “But I mean, like...” you gesture pointlessly and you can feel the blush rising on your cheeks. You cringe in embarrassment. Dave leans in towards and you blurt, “I, I want to put my dick in your ass.”

You crack one eye open and the smarmy smirk that had been growing on his face is now completely gone, replaced with parted lips and raised eyebrows and a faint blush of his own.

“Really?” he asks. You nod, trying to swallow back your sudden awkwardness. It’s not like you haven’t _done_ stuff with Dave before! Even stuff that involves his butt!!

It’s still weird.

“Sweet,” he says, pressing his lips against yours, “I’m down.”

“Um, like, right now?”

He pulls away so he’s no longer hovering over you, dropping onto the bed next to you. He nudges your shoulder with his, draping himself against you, and his hand slides over your lap. 

“If you want. Up to you, babe.”

You roll into him, knocking him against his bed. He goes down willingly, hips arching up against yours. You don’t think he’s hard yet, but his show of anticipation makes you a little hot under the collar and you kiss him firmly. His lips part under yours so easily and you breathe him in. He moans when your push your tongue into his mouth, pressing his body against yours. His feet have to be braced against the floor for him to be pushing his crotch against yours the way he is and he’s definitely hard now. Maybe not quite at full mast though you can still totally feel his boner through his jeans as he rubs himself against you. 

You can’t quite match his arousal yet, but wow, it took hardly any effort for you to get him going.

You suck his bottom lip between your teeth as you pull away. He groans and you let it go with a wet pop, sitting back on your knees. You slide one foot back to the floor, tuck your hands under his knees, and push him across his bed. You can see his eyes snap wide in surprise as he hisses a curse that peters out into a snicker.

He wraps his arms around your shoulders when you lay back over him, pinning him to the bed with your weight. His legs are spread wide, knees bent so he can tuck his thighs against your waist. You’re too short compared to him to kiss him like this, so you suck on his neck instead, pressing your tongue against the faint yellowed bruises wrapped around his throat. His hips twitch against yours constantly as he silently begs for friction and you _really_ like how he’s squirming under you.

You’re tempted to rut against him until he comes in his pants again. It’s fucking hot how much he enjoys it and then maybe you could keep him from cleaning up. The idea of him spending the rest of the night with spizz soaked boxers makes you groan against his throat.

And then you think maybe you could convince him to run around campus like that, wet and sticky all through his lectures and maybe you could pull him away somewhere private in your free time to soak them through all over again. Fuck you like this idea.

But he’s whispering for you to fuck him, begging for it and you _want_ to.

Ugh, boxers make your life awful. Even if what he wears are more booty shorts than anything, there’s still too much there for you to pull aside to fuck him. Panties are so much better for that.

Oh hey. Dave in panties. You are completely unopposed to this idea. In fact, you are quite the opposite. Your dick throbs in your jeans and you nose the underside of Dave’s jaw. It’s starting to get prickly with how late it is in the day and you ask, “Hey Dave, will you wear panties for me sometime?”

He gasps and takes a moment to answer. You think it’s cute how he can’t think with a boner but then he mumbles a, “Yeah sure,” and you moan as you grind into him.

You really hope you like fucking him in the ass now. It’s never been one of your things because, well, why fuck a girl in the ass when you’ve got a dripping wet pussy right there but that doesn’t really apply to Dave and fuck if he doesn’t want you to fuck him.

Fuck if _you_ don’t want to fuck him.

It’s definitely time to start removing clothing. You sit up and strip off your shirt, enjoying how Dave pins you with his full attention. He bites his lip when you drop your hands to undo your jeans but he stops you when you try to push them down.

“Fuck, leave them on. Please?”

And how can you say no to the way he whimpers, shifting his hips because of you with every panted breath. You can’t, is how. Your pants stay decidedly on and so you go to rub at his boner through his own jeans.

He drops immediately back to begging as soon as you lay your hand on his junk, chanting, “Please fuck me,” over and over until you give in.

“Get naked,” you tell him. He scrambles to start stripping, yanking his shirt up. It gets stuck around his elbows and head, and he lets out a frustrated keen as he fights it. You hear his shoulder pop as he gets it free and he throws it away angrily, attacking his pants next. He shoves them down over his hips, knees to his chest to get them off all the way and.

And you think he wasn’t wearing underwear.

You nudge your boxers down a little, pulling out your dick. His eyes zero in on your junk and he licks his lips. You can’t wait until his new piercing has finished healing. You don’t think he can either, if the way he’s staring hungrily at your dick is any indication.

You give yourself a bit of a squeeze and say, “Um, lube?”

He rolls, his legs tangling around yours, and stretches to reach the bottle on his nightstand. His ass is pert and naked and _there_ so you give it a smack. He yelps and drops the bottle, clutching at the edge of his mattress. You can see his ears turn red, his blush crawling down his neck. Your eyebrows twitch up in surprise and you slap him again. This time he groans, burying his face into his sheets as he twists his hips a little more. One of his knees slides over yours so he can lay almost flat, his foot hooked over your far thigh.

“You like that?” you ask. He nods and you think he actually looks a little embarrassed, which is strange. When you slap his ass again, he tilts his hips back towards you. You lean forward, over him, knocking his leg loose. He presses his ass hard against your dick when you nudge it against him, and you can feel the heat coming off his skin from where your hits landed.

You grind your dick against his tailbone and when he muffles his keen into the bed, you slide your fingers through the long part of his hair and yank his head back.

“Tell me,” you breath against the back of his ear, practically laying flat on top of him, “Do you think you need to be punished? Is that what this is all about?”

He shudders deliciously under you as he tries to nod, croaking a, “Yes.”

“What for?” You’re practically purring and it’s a little weird how husky your voice has become, but you can see how Dave has gone slack jawed because of it, shivering and eager to please.

“Dropped the lube,” he rasps. You release your grip on his hair and he lets out a little cough as his head droops forward.

“Pick it up,” you order him. He lurches forward, scrambling to obey. You watch his arm shoot down, and when his elbow comes back over the bed, bottle clutched in his fingers, you drag him back by his hips.

You know he’s not weak by any means. While he’s not bulky like you, he’s all muscle, lean and wiry and spry enough that he could probably hand your ass back to you on a silver platter in a fist fight if he wanted, but he doesn’t. He lets you do basically whatever the fuck you want to him. You have total control and it makes you so fucking hard.

“Finger yourself.”

He almost drops the lube again, his hands shaking in anticipation, but he manages to fill one palm with it, the bottle clutched in his off hand as he reaches back. He dribbles a long line of the liquid along his sheets and across his hip, and he practically smears it against his ass. His knuckles knock against your dick, brushing at your balls as he rubs himself. You slap him, more on the thigh than the ass, and he yelps. His breathing echos in the room, loud and desperate and peppered with the faintest of moans.

He pushes two of his fingers into himself in one go, his scapula sliding in ways it really shouldn’t. It looks like it wants to stick straight out and you’re pretty sure his shoulder is trying to dislocate on him as he twists to reach in the position you’ve stuck him in. You really hope he’ll call time out before it does.

He doesn’t. You can hear the pop of it, see the gross lurch of his arm as his shoulder snaps out of place and he just groans, low and long, continuing to work his fingers in and out of himself. 

You place a gentle hand on his back, between his shoulder blades, and lean in to ask, “Are you okay?”

He nods enthusiastically, eyes closed, and you can see where he’s started to drool a little.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” he breathes. You can feel him tremble under you and the way he so obviously wants you is pretty much the only thing that’s kept his dislocating shoulder from slaying your boner entirely.

You wrap gentle fingers around his wrist, stilling his hand. He lets you pull his fingers out from ~~his butthole gross~~ himself, his arm limp. You hold on to his elbow too, carefully moving his arm to his side. You wince when his shoulder pops back into place, and Dave gasps, knees sliding out from under him in what you hope is surprise. Even if it was from pain, he automatically grinds his hips into the mattress and you swat at his hip with a snort.

“Please,” he whines, trying to push his hips back up and, fuck, while you’ve sort of slid out of your role as dom, he’s still firmly in subspace. You tug his ass back up and push your half hard dick against him. He clutches at his bed with a groan, wiggling his hips against you.

“Fuck me, fuck me, please John, please fuck me.”

You love the way he whimpers your name, you really do but....

You slap his ass hard enough to make your hand sting and shove his face into the mattress. He grunts in surprise, his legs giving out under him again and you lean in to hiss, “Sir. You call me Sir.”

“Fuck, Sir, fuck I’m so sorry, please Sir, please, _please_ , I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

You rock against him. Your dick slides across his skin so easily this time, slick with lube. He wiggles under you, begging for your dick all the while and you think he’s expecting you to punish him for calling you by name, which is silly because you never told him to call you anything else before.

You grab hold of your dick, pressing the tip against his.... entrance. He moans appreciatively and pushes his hips up, the increase in pressure enough to make your dick breach him, just a little and fuck, _fuck_ , you don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t want to hurt him.

“Please, please, _please_ , Sir, I need you in me, Jo -- just, just _fuck_ me, please.”

Time to go ass spelunking.

You push into him nice and slow. It’s not all that different from fucking a girl -- hot and slick and wonderfully snug -- but not quite the same either and the way he sucks in a deep breath only to _groan_ , like this is the best thing ever, is fucking beautiful. You think, if nothing else, you’ll enjoy this just for how much he gets off on it.

Which is a pretty common situation in your relationship, you think.

You only get about halfway in before friction catches up with you, and you pull back some. Your next thrust has you going deeper. Same with the next, and the one after that, and you decide that lube is a beautiful, beautiful invention. You don’t even care that the crotch of your jeans is going to be covered with it again, not when you have Dave flat on his face under you, pinned there with your cock up his ass and your arm across his shoulders and he’s having such a hard time keeping his hips up with how hard you’re pushing into him.

And he’s so fucking _noisy_ , even with his face pressed into the bed, fingers against covering his lips, his moans are hard and low and come with every third thrust from you, his breath ragged.

You gradually pick up the pace until you’re literally pound him into the mattress. You haven’t gotten the sort of noises from him that he made when you fucked him with the, uh, vibrator, but he’s rocking with you as best as he can.

You’re definitely enjoying this. Quite a lot, actually and _Dave_ is definately enjoying this. That’s the best part. He really likes this. Like, really really. Holy shit.

“Fuck,” he hisses, whimpering, “Please, John, Sir, fuck, Sir please. I’m so close, please, can I come for you, Sir, please?”

You can feel him rubbing his dick against his sheets so you pull him back up and he very nearly shouts a curse at the change in angle. His body goes rigid when you push your dick back into him and he gasps. You think you’ve found a sweet spot and you feel sort of evil when you growl into his ear, “You don’t get to come until I tell you to, alright?”

He whimpers again and nods and his guts clench around your dick in a way that will probably gross you out later but _right now_ feels fucking amazing. You keep ahold of his hips, helping him stay up as you fuck him, trying to find that sweet spot again. You’re pretty sure you hit it head on when he shifts from panting to begging again, crying out for you, pleading for something he can’t manage to name.

You’re, wow, you’re surprisingly close and the way he he hasn’t stopped spewing needy nonsense is dragging you closer and closer to the edge.

“You’re so _noisy_ ,” you whisper to him. You’re almost there, _almost_ there.

“Jus’ for you, babe,” he says, his desperate word vomit now having direction, “You feel so fuckin’ good, Sir, so amazing, I can’t help it, so good, so good, please, fuck me harder, Sir, make me yours, please.”

Your next thrust knocks the wind out of him mid _please_ and he gasps, going silent for a second. Then he starts up again, panicked and sputtering, “Fuck, I can’t hold it, I can’t.”

“Don’t you dare.”

He whimpers, snaking a hand down to his crotch. You snap his name and he keens, “I’m trying! I want to be good, I do, Sir, please!”

You go to pry his hand away from his junk, but you find his fingers wrapped like a vice around the base of his dick. He whispers one last _please_ and you drop over the edge.

He claws at the bed when your dick twitches in him as you come, sliding your hand along his own. You think he might be biting down on his sheets, his body pulled so tight with the effort to to what you told him to that he’s trembling. The head of his dick is slick and sticky and he’s positively dripping with pre but he hasn’t come yet, even as you finish.

“Okay,” you breath against his shoulder, “You did good, Dave. You can come now.”

He immediately shoots his load into your hand. You thumb the ridge of his head as he rides out his orgasm, choking on air, and yeah. He’s definitely biting down on a mouthful of sheets.

You wait until you’re sure he’s done before you pull your hand away. His jizz drips through your fingers and when you slide your dick out of him he sighs. You practically lay on top of him, head against the crown of his spine as you push your sticky fingers against his lips. You don’t even have to tell him to clean up his mess, his tongue lapping away at your hand without complaint.

When he’s done, you wipe your hand on your jeans, nuzzling the back of his neck. You listen to the rasp of his lungs as he breathes and his heartbeat slows, stroking his side with your clean hand. You stay like that for a couple of minutes, quietly touching him, until he mumbles, “You’re a fatass.”

You snicker and roll off him, running the back of your knuckles down his spine instead.

“Okay,” he says with a grimace, propping himself up onto his elbows, “Next time, _please_ wear a condom. If you’re into cream pies, that’s great, but I really do not enjoy the feel of cold, jizzy lube sliding down my taint.”

You laugh because wow, that’s freaking _nasty_ and he gives you a half hearted glare.

“Sorry,” you say, except you’re grinning like a moron.

“Fuck, go get me a washcloth before it drips on the bed or something, okay?”

You giggle all the way to the bathroom, dick hanging out of the top of your pants the entire time. You wipe yourself off before tucking away, pulling your jeans up your hips. Dave’s face down again when you come back, arms folded under his head. You drop the washcloth on his lower back and his breath hitches.

“You okay?” you ask as you lie down next to him again. He nods into his elbow and you reach for the washcloth again. “Did you want me to...?”

He bats your hand away and tucks the washcloth between his legs with a sigh. His face, now that you can see it again, is splotchy red and his eyelashes sparkle with tears. You brush the back of your fingers against his cheek.

“You sure you’re okay?” He nods again and he looks so tired. You scoot closer, pressing your lips against his shoulder, watching him.

Eventually he murmurs, “Didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Oh.

“I wouldn’t have been mad,” you tell him, petting his shoulderblade.

“I know.”

You watch a tear slide across the bridge of his nose. You brush it away and boop his nose, and he smiles.

“Love you,” he mumbles, still smiling, and your heart swells. He’s said it before but this is the first time you’ve heard it in person. You press your face against his shoulder and pretend you’re not grinning like a goof when you return the sentiment.

And then he breaks the moment, squirming with a frown.

“Okay, no. Take me to the shower. You are disgustingly virile and I do not want your love juices all over my bed.”

You don’t bother pointing out that _his_ love juices got all over, you just help him up, laughing as he hobbles to the bathroom.

“No, fuck you, it’s dripping down my _thigh_ , do you have any idea how _nasty_ that is?”

Actually, you think it’s kind of hot, but you’re not going to tell him that. You don’t have any experience but you can imagine it’d be gross. You just like that it’s _yours_. It pings your dom side, pleases you to know that you’ve marked your claim.

You can see the wet trail all the way down to his knee on one leg when you step into the bathroom with him and you take in the view. He’s bent over, hand braced on the shower wall as he turns the knobs and there’s a definite red mark on one of his ass cheeks from you spanking him. He glances at you over his shoulder, brown eyes tired but warm and you grin at him.

“Could you get the fan?” he asks, standing again. His stretches and his back pops, and you flick the switch for the bathroom fan. You watch him step into the shower as you wiggle out of your jeans to follow him.

He sags against you immediately, nestling his face against your neck as you wrap your arms around his waist. He sighs into your ear, reaching back to finger himself again, which is definitely hot but you can’t manage much more than a half hearted chub, especially since he’s mechanical about it this time. It’s just for cleaning, you mentally tell your dick.

Not that it helps, or really, matters much. Sometimes being so youthful is dumb.

“Jesus Christ,” he grumbles, “my ass is creamier than a fuckin’ eclair.”

Your surprised laughter echo over the sound of the shower in his tiny bathroom and you can feel him making faces into the crook of your neck.

“Dude, that’s gross.”

“No, dude, what’s gross is having to scrape your spunk outta my asshole.” 

You giggle an apology to him and he heaves a sigh, pulling away from you. You let him step fully under the spay again, rubbing at his fingers where your come still clings. He deems them good enough after a moment, picking up his bar of soap before turning back to you.

You sort of aren’t expecting it when he runs his wet, soapy hands across your chest, bumping his forehead against yours. You blink at him, wide eyed, but his face is quietly pleased. He’s got a tiny little smile tilting his lips and you can only see the barest sliver of his eyes beneath his lashes as he slides the soap across your shoulders and up your neck.

It’s almost uncomfortably intimate. The two of you spend most the time you aren’t having sex just chilling like regular friends and the way he delicately smooths soap down your arm and _between your fingers_ is such a heel-face-turn from your usual bro-tivities. You don’t really know what to do.

He shifts his weight and works his hands down your other arm and you do your best not to be awkward about it. Having someone else wash you is.... nice, maybe. Weird, definitely, and you can’t decide if it’s a sub thing or a Dave thing, but either way, it’s nice.

You figure it’s probably a Dave thing when he drops to his knees and snorts at your returned erection. There’s no way your sub would laugh at your boner. No, when Dave’s your sub, he’d eagerly swallow you down but he just presses a closed mouth kiss to your head before he slides his soapy hand down your length, laughing when you whine, “Gross, Dave! That was just in your butt!”

He doesn’t let you return the favour when he’s done, washing himself with none of the precision he had washing you. You let him nudge you under the shower’s spray, running his fingers through your hair until it’s wet all the way through. He kisses the tip of your nose with a grin and tells you to shut up.

“I didn’t say anything though!”

He just laughs and guides you out from under the water, pouring shampoo into his hands. You feel like a kid as he washes your hair for you, even if the way he rubs his fingertips in circles across your scalp makes your head tingle pleasantly.

He runs his fingers through his own hair afterward, rubbing roughly over the short parts and it dawns on you that it was, actually, a sub thing. He’s not full out sub mode but you’re still his dom and he still feels he should take care of you, even if you didn’t ask for him to. Like, he _wants_ to take care of you.

You watch him rinse off and he gives a deadpan, “What,” when he sees your doofy grin.

“You’re cute,” you tell him with a smooch. He rolls his eyes and waits for you to finish before he flicks off the water and reaches outside the shower for a towel.

He doesn’t bother with clothes as he heads back to his room, hair still dripping and water clinging to his back. You, however, at least pull on your underwear, waving at Dirk as you walk past him.

**=== >**

You wake up to Dave hogging all the blanket and his thigh pressed against your dick. Actually, it’s less that he’s hogging all the blanket and more that he’s flipped it off himself in the direction opposite of you so it’s dangling off the other side of the bed, still covering his shoulders and the arm wedged between your ribs and his, leaving the rest of his naked body uncovered.

You’ve learned not to question Dave’s sleeping habits. They’re just too weird and it’s not worth the brain power trying to make sense of them. Especially not first thing in the morning.

Especially not when he’s hard against your hip, totally asleep even as he rubs himself against you.

You end up waking him when you try, and fail spectacularly, not to laugh at him and his morning wood and his stupid blanket cape and when he props himself up on his elbows to squint at you with his sleep bruised Beetlejuice eyes and his tired frown you just laugh harder.

“Fuck you,” he grumbles, flopping back down beside you, “You’re a cunt.”

“Yeah, well, you’re cute,” you tell him, wiping away the wet spot he left on your shoulder with a corner of one pillow, “And! You drooled on me.”

He rolls over, facing away from you, half cocooned in blankets with his bare ass still hanging out and you snicker as you cuddle up behind him. You’re not hard but he presses his ass back against your hips, reaching for you hand to pull it around his waist.

“Wow, someone’s eager.”

“Hot dream,” he mumbles back.

“What about?”

He hums; “Don’t remember.”

After a minute, he wiggles out from the blanket and you roll back to avoid his elbows. He emerges triumphant, his pretty, honey blond hair a mess, and climbs into your lap. The morning sun paints him pale yellow, striped from his closed blinds and you can see the blue of his veins through his skin as he hovers over you.

He’s really pretty. Even a totally macho super straight dude would have to agree. In fact, Macho Man Randy Savage would totally agree that Dave is attractive, you’re sure of it.

You mean, if he wasn’t dead.

But a dead wrestler is not something you’re going to dwell on, since you’re boyfriend is grinding against you slowly, leaning down to kiss you. It’s a nice kiss, and your palms cover the dark splotches your fingers left on his hips last night.

“So, panties, huh?” he mumbles against your cheek. His hair has flopped forward, ticking your temple, and you stroke your thumbs across the points of his hipbones.

It takes you a moment to figure out what he’s talking about, but you snicker when you remember; “Yeah. I like it when you come in your underwear but I don’t think I can fuck you with your boxers on.”

He laughs into your ear, “You filthy fucker.”

“Yeah, but you like it.”

He hums an affirmative, his hips never stopping in their slow roll. It’s really nice, and you’re happy to let him continue, his dick sliding against yours over your boxers. Honestly, if you didn’t have a hard on now you could probably doze off like this, it’s that comfortable.

He presses a palm down against your dick, pinning it against your stomach, and you glance down to watch his peek out from under his hand with every little thrust he makes and the tiny noises he makes against your jaw are fantastic.

You watch him slowly get stiffer and stiffer, tensing up over you as he get’s close. When he comes, he kisses you hard as he dribbles onto your stomach. He nuzzles his face against your neck when he’s done and you reach a hand into your underwear to finish yourself off. He hooks a finger through your waistband just in time to watch you come in turn. You can tell he watches by the way his breath hitches as you ooze across your fingers.

The two of you stay like that for a couple of minutes, and it’s... nice, even with the jizz cooling on your belly and your morning breath.

Eventually, he climbs off you, tossing you a shirt to clean up with as he slides a pair of pjs up his legs. He walks out of the room while you wipe up the mess on your skin, coming back after a couple of minutes with two bowls of cereal. You spend the rest of the morning watching video game trivia on youtube in bed.


	2. Chapter 2

TG : fuck okay rose  
TG : you need to do me a favour  
TG : it is completely imperative that you help me out here  
TG : id do it myself but i think itd just be creepy  
TG : creepier than me asking you to do it which is really fucking saying something  
TT : I’m afraid I cannot agree with that statement as you’re spewing non relevant things at me, rather than just asking for your favour, but it does sound quite ominous.  
TG : i need you to buy me panties  
TT : My, that is quite a creepy thing to ask your niece.  
TT : Might I ask what has spawned this new activity of yours?  
TG : john wants me to  
TT : To ask me to buy you lingerie or for you to wear it?  
TG : wear it duh  
TT : You’ll pay for it, of course?  
TG : yeah im not that much of a loser  
TT : And I assume you’re intending high quality items?  
TG : yeah i guess might as well go all out  
TT : Why not order online?  
TG : dude what do i know about lady clothing  
TG : fat lot of nothing  
TG : besides the fact that its sizing is based primarily around voodoo and majyyk  
TG : id order something and itd be doll sized  
TG : my ass is scrawny but id rather have some room for my massive dick thanks  
TT : Quite a pleasure being on the receiving end of that visual, thank you.  
TG : i am choosing to believe you are being sarcastic you creep  
TT : Yes, but you love me.  
TG : sure do princess so buy me panties  
TT : Kanaya works at a lingerie boutique. I am sure she would be unopposed to you coming in and trying things on for yourself.  
TG : first off knowing what john wants to do to me in them would leave me with a raging hardon and thats just awkward  
TG : and knowing what john wants to do to me in them would have kanaya murdering me  
TG : i really dont want that  
TT : I see. Might I ask what he wants you to do with them?  
TG : you horny little shit  
TT : Research material, is all.  
TG : he wants me to shoot my load in them  
TT : While you wear them?  
TG : yep  
TT : How depraved.  
TG : i know right  
TT : Any preferences?  
TG : id say no buttfloss but i doubt im actually going to be wearing them for that long so  
TG : idk nothing thats gonna pinch my balls i guess  
TG : and nothing itchy  
TT : Understood. I take it you want them asap.  
TG : yeah pretty much  
TT : I am entirely unopposed to visiting my girlfriend in her place of employment. I shall text you should I need any further clarification.  
TG : thanks youre a doll rosie

**=== >**

Rose comes over bearing a bag full of tissue paper and lace, smugly perching her fat ass on your kitchen table.

“I do hope you know,” she tells you, “that I now have the most _perfect_ blackmail material ever now.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you grumble, ruffling her hideous Yolandi hair, “I have baby pictures.”

“You say that as though you’d willingly show pictures of yourself from middle school.”

You flip her off. She passes the bag over with a smirk and you poke your fingers into it, pulling out a dozen pairs of panties in a variety of colours and styles, a garterbelt, a pairs of thigh highs and two different sort-of-dress things that you’ve seen before but have no idea what they’re actually called. You raise one eyebrow at your niece.

“Kanaya wanted to include matching bras as well, but I assured her that you are not actually a cross dresser. I do, however, agree with her that you would look lovely in a chemise, so..” she shrugs and you sigh.

“Do I even want to know how much it was?”

“Kanaya was a doll and used her discount for you so it’s just shy of two hundred. I dare say your mysterious boyfriend’ll be quite pleased though, if this is indeed a fetish he’d like to pursue.”

You make a note to thank her girlfriend, rubbing one pair of silky panties between your fingers, and say, “Yeah.”

**=== >**

Rose did get you a thong. It’s cherry red and lace and the only thing from her care package that can actually hold all of your junk without hanging halfway down your dick. You don’t think it’s exactly _uncomfortable_ , even with the perpetual wedgie, but the way it continuously rubs against your asshole is awkwardly arousing, especially combined with knowing why John wants you in them. At least it does a decent job keeping your semi contained.

You still have to wear a pair of boxers over top so your ass doesn’t hang out of the back of your pants, but John’s still going to shit himself when you show him.

By the time you slide into a chair next to him at the back of your shared lecture, you’ve gotten used how the panties fit, even if your boner has yet to deflate.

“Hey,” you murmur to him, “Guess what.”

He makes a noise at you, leaning his shoulder against yours and you smirk. You have to slide to the edge of your chair to hide the movement of your hands as you undo your pants, but there’s no one nearby in your row, and no one behind you, so you don’t hesitate to wiggle your jeans and boxers down.

The chair is cold as fuck against your basically bare ass but worth it for the way John has to stuff his fist against his teeth to keep quiet. You’ve gotten infinitely harder just from showing off to him, and knowing that anyone could look back and see your dick in a pair of lacy panties has you curling your toes in your shoes.

John’s trying so hard to keep his expression impassive as you reach in to adjust yourself, pulling your hard on along one hip bone. He’s doing a total shit job of it, face red and eyes glued to your crotch. You arch your hips up into your hand, jerking yourself off through the panties slowly.

“Ne, Megane-kun,” you murmur, your voice dripping with sex despite your words, “doesn’t my ochinchin look kawaii in these?”

He snorts, still blushing but no longer tensed to pounce you, and you tug your jeans back over your hips. You leave your fly open and spread, showing off your lace wrapped dick. You wait out the rest of the lecture, half hard, watching as John occasionally reaches down to kneed at his cock.

As soon as you’re dismissed, you button yourself up and shove your laptop into your bag, striding off without looking back. You take just long enough to make it out the door for John to catch up and he follows you into a, thankfully, empty bathroom.

He shoves you into one of the stalls without a word and slams you face first against the wall, pinning you there with his body. His dick is hard and hot against your ass as he grinds against you, hissing into your ear, “You fucking tease.”

You just groan in return, rubbing your hand across the lump in your own jeans. He humps you into the wall, has you begging for it in no time and you’re internally kicking yourself for not thinking of bringing lube because fuck, you _need_ him in you fucking now.

And he can tell, you think, given the way he mutters, “Fuck, you’re such a slut when you’re begging for my cock.”

You agree with a moan, biting down on your lip, because he’s so right, jesus shit. You’d be embarrassed if it weren’t for the fact that his sweet ass dick is pressed against your rear like he’s three seconds away from ripping off your clothes and fucking you raw anyway. It would almost be worth it.

You hear the bathroom door swing open and his hand clamps down over your mouth. You freeze like a deer in headlights but John, bless him, keeps thrusting against you. And then he bites down on the lobe of your ear, breathing hard. You blow your load with a barely muffled whimper as a pair of dudes piss into the urinals.

The sound of the sinks running masks the squeak of your shoes as John turns you around, pushing you to your knees. You let your head droop back against the wall, shifting your hips at the feel of your jizz sliding along the crease of your thigh. He pulls out his dick, squeezing your jaw with his other hand, and you open your mouth obediently. You listen as your pair of unintentional voyeurs walk back out, John’s dick just barely in reach of your lips.

He lets you suck on the head of his dick, lips wrapped around the very tip, but that’s it. The grip he has on your face is bruisingly hard, his fingertips pressed against the soft part under your jaw and if you hadn’t just creamed your shorts, you’d be jerking it like a kid just getting his grubby fingers on a playboy the first time. As it is, you give yourself a squeeze, just on the edge of overstimulated and aroused.

John’s breathing echos in the bathroom as he jerks off against your lips and you sort of wonder how, exactly, you weren’t caught. But then he’s groaning your name and filling your mouth, and you swallow as much as he’ll let you before he pulls away and finishes across your face. You  
squeeze your eyes closed on instinct as you feel the first strings land on your cheek, even though you’re still wearing your shades. His come drips down across your lips and you lick it away, listening to him breathe a moan as you do.

He tilts your head up a little more when hes done, nudging his dick against your lip. You press your tongue against the underside of his head, sucking away the last traces of his orgasm off his dick.

“Stay just like that,” he whispers. You open your eyes to watch him from behind your shades -- fucker made a mess of them, holy shit, one lense is practically covered in his spizz. He’s got his phone out and you almost jump when it makes the fake shutter noise as he takes a picture.

“You sick fuck,” you laugh when he puts his phone away, tucking himself back into his shorts. His grin is just shy of sheepish, and he shrugs.

“Yeah, but now I have proof of defiling _the_ Dave Strider, cool kid extraordinaire, untouchable boner fuel for like, the entire freshmen class.”

You snort, “Been talking to Aradia again, huh?”

“Nope,” he says brightly, “Terezi.”

He pulls off a length of toilet paper, gently wiping his spunk off your face. He’s being so careful about it too, and it’s fucking hilarious. You snicker and he sticks his tongue out at you, the pinnacle of maturity, and you just laugh harder.

“Wow, you’re a jerk,” he tells you, fake pouting. He still offers you a hand to help you stand. You don’t need it, but you take it anyway, ducking down to press your lips against his. He kisses you, but wrinkles his nose and says, “Gross, cooties.”

“Yeah, and I wonder where I got them.”

He giggles and kisses you again. “Okay yeah. Go wash your face though; you’re sticky.”

**=== >**

You end up wearing the panties for the rest of the day, your pants too tight to take off over your shoes and your shoes too difficult to remove between your back to back lectures -- oh the perils of actually lacing up Chucks. Once it dries, it’s actually not too bad, but it’s still gross as fuck and as soon as you’re home, you start stripping. And then you hop in the shower because your pubes are crusted over with jizz.

Dirk’s waiting for you as you exit, jerking his head in a silent beckoning. You shuffle over, towel clutched around your waist, and your brother produces a key.

“For your boytoy,” he says and you just raise your eyebrows. He shrugs, “Figure he’s by often enough.”

You pluck the key from his fingers and snort, “You just want him for his food.”

“Way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, you know. ‘Least I ain’t after his dick too.”

“Yeah, ‘suppose.”

“And let Johnny-boy know the cabbage is goin’ weird.”

And with that your brother ditches you for tonight’s gig.

TG : bro says get your fine ass over here and make him some dinner  
TG : and by him i actually mean me because hes got work  
TG : and im fuckin starving bro  
TG : also the cabbage is apparently going weird  
TG : idek what dirk even meant by that but the cabbage is officially weird  
EB : lol okay. i guess i’ll be over in a bit?  
EB : what do you want me to make for dinner?  
TG : idk something delicious  
TG : maybe ill just have you  
EB : ahahah you perv XD  
TG : but seriously i think if you dont use that cabbage dirk will threaten you with the blender again  
EB : dude, but this time, i totally know your blender doesn’t even WORK.  
TG : my bro is the robot master he will make it work  
TG : and like super weaponized  
TG : and it will probably follow you around no wall plug needed  
EB : isaofhaodhfa omfg killer blender ahahahah that’s cute.  
TG : no dude dont go dissing my bros killer robo making skills  
TG : swear to fuck one time he made a fully functional skeet shooter out of a microwave from the seventies  
TG : idek how that even works but he did it  
TG : it was magical  
EB : wow okay note to self, do not let him near microwaves?  
EB : i don’t even know what a skeet shooter is  
EB : but it sounds scary and i really hope it has nothing to do with porn  
TG : omfg dude you are a total dweeb jesus dick  
TG : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skeet_shooting   
TG : wikipedia to the rescue  
TG : oh man i am so totally going to tell dirk about this  
TG : holy fuck that was adorable  
EB : dude how was i supposed to know it had to do with guns!  
TG : oh yeah thats right youre a goody goody from the burbs  
TG : how could i forget  
EB : you're a butthead.  
TG : yeah but you love me anyways  
EB : i suppose...  
EB : <3  
TG : dude theres no supposing about it you better  
TG : thongs are totally not comfortable  
EB : that was a thong?  
TG : yep  
EB : wow...  
TG : dude thats coming across a little starstruck you trying to tell me youve got a panty fetish  
EB : uh, maybe? i’ve only dated girls before so panties have most definitely been a staple...  
EB : and that’s so not as weird as you getting off to me having a pair of your dirty underwear!  
TG : dude its not the dirty underwear that gets me its the you gloating over me creaming my shorts  
EB : oh. uh.  
EB : i thought you liked that though?  
EB: coming in your underwear, i mean.  
TG : meh its more getting caught doing it  
EB : sooo you like that i know you’ve creamed your shorts?  
TG : basically  
EB : wow.  
EB : so is it a “wow that’s really fucking gross” thing or “oh no he knows what i did thing”?  
EB : dave?  
TG : the later jesus shit give me a minute to reply fuck  
EB : are you embarrassed dave? >D  
EB : daaaaave?  
TG : a little i guess  
EB : that’s cute <3  
EB : do you like it when i embarrass you?  
TG : yes sir  
EB : and that’s why you like the spanking? being punished?  
TG : yes sir  
EB : what do you like so much about it?  
TG : i like the humiliation sir  
EB : anything else?  
TG : i like pain ive told you that  
EB : so spanking is like a times two combo for you?  
TG : yeah  
EB : and you were so eager to wear panties for me because it embarasses you to?  
TG : yes sir  
EB : so you’ll do it again?  
TG : yes sir  
EB : you’re really cute when you go all subby on me <3  
TG : thank you sir  
EB : you okay dave?  
TG : yeah  
TG : little hard though  
EB : oh really?  
TG : yeah  
EB : well, i’ll be over in a little and then i’ll take care of you <3  
TG : dinner first maybe  
EB : sure :)  
TG : sweet  
TG : thanks babe

**=== >**

John is over within the hour, and you sit on the counter watching him cook your dinner, turning the key over in your fingers. You haven’t given it to him yet. It’s a big step, and one you aren’t even making yourself. It’s your fucking brother giving your boyfriend a key to your place.

Which, actually, is kind of fucking hilarious. Dirk has liked your boyfriends before, even a few of your doms, but never as much as he apparently likes John. It must be because John’s a dweeby boy next door and practically the younger version of your bro’s sugar daddy. 

“So,” you drawl, “my bro likes you.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Got you something.”

He looks at you over his shoulder from where he’s stirring the meat and veggie conglomerate for dinner. His grin is brilliant, especially with his glasses hooked in the collar of his shirt, leaving his blue eyes uncovered. He’s gotten used to cooking mostly by the stove’s overhead light, leaving you free to be shadeless, and free to eye him without any consequence.

“So what’d I get?”

You hold the key up for him to see.

“Oh, wow, really?”

He steps between your spread knees and you pass the key over. His grin widens as he rubs his thumb over it.

“Stipulation is you cook more.”

He laughs at that, kissing you. You don’t get much more than a nibble before the timer for the rice dings and he pulls away.

While you’re eating, he casually asks if you have any other panties and you just about choke on a piece of carrot. He laughs as you thump a fist against your chest and swallow.

“Yeah?” you wheeze, “Rose practically got me a whole drawer full.”

His eyebrows squish together; “You got your friend to buy you panties?”

“Like hell I woulda been able to do it myself without getting the cops called on me,” you snort, “besides, her girlfriend works at a panty shop.”

“Oh. Can I see the rest later?”

You can feel the blush crawling up your neck as you shrug and he gives you a devious half grin. Motherfuck. This is either going to be really awesome or really awkward.

John gives you a knowing look when you get seconds, like he can tell you’re stalling, which you sort of are. You dig that he gets off so hard from you in panties, but it’s not a thing you’re all that invested in yourself.

Wait, scratch that, you’re way too invested in it. You had to pass along a fat stack of twenties for this shit and it basically wiped out your savings. It better get some fucking use.

You finish up your second bowl and lead him back to your room, handing him the little paper bag of ~~your~~ lingerie for him to peruse. He pulls out each piece one by one, draping them delicately across the back of your computer chair. You sort of feel like you should be shifting your weight like an embarrassed schoolgirl. Instead, you flop back on your bed, leaning back on your elbows with your legs splayed and you will _not_ quote Macklemore.

John doesn’t say a thing as he touches all your panties. The red thong you wore earlier has been dumped in your laundry pile already, tangled in the legs of your jeans, and you’re kind of glad. They were really fucking weird and you’re none too eager to try them on again.

Then again, it’d be way easy for him to fuck you in them. Wouldn’t even hardly have to pull them aside.

Shit, now you almost regret dirtying them up already.

John’s come to the chemi-whatsits, your garterbelt and stockings laid out neatly with your panties. He’s got the minty green one in hand, fingering the gathered bodice-thing.

“This is pretty,” he says like it’s the most normal thing in the world while you practically burn in embarrassment, doing your best not to squirm around your hard on. “You really went all out, huh?”

“Man, sometimes I just want to be a pretty princess, okay?”

He snickers, “Well princess, let’s see you in this.”

The green thing honest to god fucking _floats_ when he tosses it your way. You snatch it out of the air and try not to look as awkward as you actually are about this whole thing, stripping down you you can slide into it. You think the dress thing is supposed to reach the bottom of your ass, but it barely brushes your hips and you can’t reach the knot of the halter strap to adjust it without your shoulders hating you.

Your dick looks fucking weird framed by see through green ruffles, but John’s gone pink in the face.

“These too,” he says, biting his lip as he passes you the panties he had fisted in one hand. They’re the black ones that actually cover your whole ass but lets your junk fall out the bottom. You have a feeling that’s not going to be a problem considering how hard you are. He watches you slide the panties up your legs hungrily.

It takes a little adjustment to get yourself to fit, and fuck, there is not a lot of room to adjust in. You feel like the only reason your balls are actually staying in place is because panties magically have an anti grav field built in. That is the only conceivable explanation.

“You wanna fuck my juicy boy pussy now, senpai?” you ask. Your words come out a little harder than you intended, sharp instead of teasing. Fuck, you are not handling this gracefully at all, too wrapped up in your own embarrassment, but he just giggles.

“Fuck, it’s hard being a badass when you keep making me laugh, Dave!”

You crack a bit of a grin yourself when you apologize, tugging at the edge of your panties.

“No, it’s okay,” he says, leaning over you, “You’re pretty cute when you’re pretending you aren’t totally flustered by doing what I say.”

And just like that, he’s your dom. His words make you want to shrink down into yourself in shame, because he’s exactly right. You’re completely ill at ease; for all the shit you’ve done, you’ve never actually done any crossdressing during a scene, and you’re getting off to it hella. It’s mostly because he’s telling you to, sure, but it’s still humiliating.

Which is the point.

He traces the neckline of your top, all the way down to the little dangly jewel that sits at the bottom of your breast bone, where the two pseudo cups meet in the middle. The knot is nowhere near tight enough to have them flat against your chest, the straps tied for a woman, and that just serves to compound your embarrassment.

“I can see your nipples through this,” he croons, too cheerfully. He can indeed, even with all the gathering. Your toes curl in the carpet of your room as he pushes the fabric away to thumb the bead at the end of one barbell.

“It’s a really nice colour too,” he tells you, “You look good in it.”

You mumble a thank you. He towers over you now, the way he’s so casually humiliating you making him seem huge.

“The scruff kind of ruins it though -- “ he grips your jaw, fingers dimpling your cheeks, and you let him maneuver your face how he pleases. “ -- You should really do a better job shaving, Dave.”

He doesn’t let you get a word in before he continues, smiling as he berates you; “And you’re blushing so hard, Dave. It’s really cute. Red’s a good colour on you too. The panties you ruined earlier were nice a nice red....

“Oh, hey. You’d look pretty good in red lipstick too, maybe,” he runs his thumb over your lips as he muses, “I think I’d really like to see you in red lipstick, with your pretty mouth on my dick.”

You nod as best you can and blink away the stinging wet in your eyes. You won’t fucking cry. You refuse.

“Oh well, maybe next time!” He ducks down to peck you on the lips, murmuring into your mouth, “You can change your mind any time, you know.”

You acknowledge him with another tiny nod, and he smooths his hand down your throat. Your breath catches when he presses his thumb into the dip of your clavicle, air rasping in your lungs as you inhale through the pressure.

He pulls out his phone again, stepping back to sit in your computer chair. He snaps a photo without any warning, settling into his seat, and you flinch at the sound effect his phone makes.

“How about you show off your outfit a little for me?”

You lick your lips and stand, very carefully. The shift of fabric over your dick more uncomfortable than pleasant, the panties nearly too tight. You do a stiff three-sixty, spinning on one heel for him, and you practically have to lock your knees together to keep your junk in place. The panty anti-grav field does not seem to apply when you’re actually standing.

It’s not much of an anti-grav field then, you think, as you tug on the bottom edge of it again, circling back to pull at when it’s already starting to crawl up your asscrack.

“Will you touch yourself a little for me, Dave?” he asks sweetly, his phone trained on you.

Your dick is pulled practically straight up, your tip sticking out the top a little, black lace stuck to your skin with pre. You thumb at your head, you chin tucked to your chest and your toes curled against the carpet.

“A little more,” he prompts and you run the tip of one finger along where your foreskin overlaps, sliding it down. Your panties go with it and these are the most ridiculously useless article of clothing ever; what the fuck is the point in a pair of underwear that falls down your front and climbs up your ass?

The point, you guess, is all in the way your boyfriend is filming you jerking off in them, the tent in his shorts obvious.

“Good, good,” he says, more to himself than to you. He’s watching you through his phone too, has been this whole time, since he pulled the fucking thing out. He finally flicks his eyes up to your face as he crooks a finger on his free hand at you. You step forward obediently, shuffling to stand between his knees with tiny steps to keep from spilling out.

His phone is trained on your crotch as he reaches out with his off hand, hooking his fingers through the waistband along one of your hips. He pulls the fabric away from your skin and immediately your dick slides to the side.

“Wow, these don’t fit you very well, do they?”

You shake your head no as your dick twitches under his scrutiny.

“Well, Dave?”

Oh. He wants an actually vocalized reply. You mumble, “No sir,” and wonder if his phone’s camera catches the way your abdominals tense.

He switches hands, phone in his off hand so he can wrap the fingers of his dominate one around your dick. You clench your own fingers against your thighs and try not to gasp audibly as he jerks you off. He’s vigorous in his ministrations and you’re not terribly successful in keeping quiet. Soon, he has you pressing your knuckles against your teeth as you rock your hips into his grip, filming you at your most disgustingly uke.

“What do you want me to do to you, Dave?”

It’s not really a question. His tone is firm despite the way he teasingly croons the words, and you whimper, “Fuck me,” into your hands.

“What was that?”

You drop your arms, fingers clawing at your chest, and you repeat yourself, “Fuck me, fuck me, please, _fuck me_!”

He looks up at you over the top edge of his glasses, his eyebrows quirking up at your demands, and you shrink into your shoulders.

“Please?” you whisper.

“I don’t know...” he sighs, trailing off, and you keen desperately, “How badly do you want me to?”

You flick your eyes to his phone; he’s pointed it at your face now that he’s having you talk and you look away. He hums at you questioningly, pushing for his answer, and you mumble, “Bad.”

“How bad is bad?”

You open your mouth and, for a second you almost want to call it off, but he’s got his free hand on your hip, stroking your hipbone with his thumb and he’s actually looking at _you_ , so you tell him, “I need you.” He hums again, with the same upwards lilt, and you clarify, “I need you in me. Please?”  
He finally, _finally_ sets his fucking phone down and stands, chest to chest with you and so close you can feel him breathing. He nudges you back, keeping right on top of you until you trip over your own feet and fall heavily on your bed. He smiles at you before he pulls his shirt over his head, dropping trou right after.

For once, he’s the one fully naked while, arguably, you’re still dressed.

You tug the edge of your panties back over your dick self consciously and avert your eyes.

He lays on the bed next to you, sprawled out comfortably as he pats one of his thighs; “Alright, come show me how much you want me.”

You climb into his lap, pressing your dick to his as you lean in to kiss him. He hands go immediately to your thighs, petting them, and you kiss him softly, over and over as you roll your hips against his. You keep it slow intentionally, giving yourself some time to breathe, and he doesn’t rush you.

He can, apparently, silently cast summoning charms though, because the next thing you know, he’s pressing the lube bottle against your thigh. He’s not incessant about it, leaving it next to your ankle once he’s sure you know it’s there for you, and you spare it a glance.

He even thought to grab a condom. You’re not quite sure how he managed it.

You sit back and pick up your real life deus ex machina, peeling the wrapper open as you scoot back in his lap until his dick sits in front of you, between your thighs. You roll the condom down his length with practice fingers and then slide one foot to the floor, intending to remove your underwear. He stops you with a disapproving tsk and you slink back into his lap, face hot with shame.

He pulls you up him until you’re straddling his waist rather than his hips, close enough for him to reach behind you with ease. He hooks a finger under your panties, dragging them to the side for you. They twist around awkwardly, the seat bunched up over one ass cheek while the crotch pins your dick to your hip.

“Like that,” he tells you cheerfully, patting your butt.

You nod dejectedly. He watches you the entire time it takes to slick up your insides. You spend a little longer than usual fingering yourself, almost as backwards vindication, listening to the way his breathing picks up as you shiver and fuck yourself for him.

And then you slick him up so you can fuck yourself _on_ him.

You take a deep breath and hold his dick in place. He slides into you easy enough, filling you fantastically. You take a moment once you’ve settled your ass against his hips to just savour the feel of his dick.

You brace yourself with your right hand on his thigh behind you, arching your back as you roll your hips, and breath a moan when you angle his dick against your prostate.

“Hmm, you know,” your dom muses, “I was sort of expecting you to fall over yourself trying to hop on my dick, but you’re pretty calm about it now.”

You still, biting your lip. You fucked up and did it _wrong_ ; you’re a disappointment.

He thrusts hard up into you, unexpectedly. You fucking _squeak_ like a stepped on chew toy, and he grins; “There, that’s better.”

You’re almost ready for him the next time he bucks. It doesn’t surprise you but you’re so delicately balanced you almost fall over anyway. He grabs hold of your arm and drags you forward before you can, and you plant both of your hands against his chest instead.

You ride him like that, hunched over him in stupid fucking lingerie while he squeezes your hips and forces you down onto him, harder and harder until you’re spewing words, tripping over syllables without paying any mind to what you’re actually saying. The force behind his hands, compared to the sugar sweet tone of everything he’s said to you, has you teetering towards the edge, your impending orgasm crawling down your spine, leaving you a shuddering mess over him and you’re so fucking _close_. You snake a hand towards your crotch, the one still slick with lube between the fingers, and he doesn’t stop you.

It’s fucking glorious jerking off as he fucks you and you’re wound tighter than a clock, just waiting for him to say the word.

He doesn’t. He just pants, breathing hard, but he also doesn’t tell you no.

You let go, sinking forward as you come until your face is pressed against his neck and you’re boneless. He stills under you while you catch your breath, still hard as fuck. After a moment, he twitches within you and you suck air in hard through your teeth.

He guides you off his lap and you gasp when he pops free of you. You flop limply on your side next to him, almost sliding off the bed entirely when he stands and you’re left to support yourself. He rolls you onto your stomach, pulls your hips out to the edge of the bed and nudges his dick back against your ass.

“This okay?” he asks. You nod into your mattress and he pushes back into you. You bite down on a curse when he hits your prostate dead on, like a god damned magic show every fucking time, and it’s quickly going from “okay” to “too much for you to handle” and you whimper. His hips stutter to a stop and he leans over you to press a kiss against your spine before he pulls out again. You hear the snap of latex as he strips the condom off, and then the huff of his breathing as he jerks off over you.

You jump when he comes, jizz landing wetly on your back practically out of the blue.

He fumbles his phone just after he finishes and you groan as he takes another picture, burying your face in your arms. He snickers, leaning back over you to kiss your shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he laughs, “I just really like you all disheveled and stuff. You look good freshly fucked.”

You whine into your mattress, but his voice doesn’t carry any of mocking tone it had before.

He wipes your back clean a moment later and helps you roll over again, sliding you so you’re actually on the bed before attacking your sticky hand with the washcloth. You peel your eyes open just in time to watch him swipe away your jizz of his tanned stomach and toss the washcloth away entirely.

“That was neat,” he says, carefully pulling the panties down your legs, “Though I think I prefer our, uh, normal activities, I guess.”

You have to sit up to get the chesmises thing off, and you nuzzle into his chest as soon as it clears your head.

“Wasn’t very comfortable,” you tell him, “Panties cannot contain my girth.”

“Your girth is undeniable.”

“You cannot deny my girth.”

“Whatever you say, Gary Oak.”

You snicker and he crawls into bed with you, nudging you until you lay the correct direction.

“You actually record all that?” you ask, pressing yourself against his side.

“Heh, yeah. It’ll be really bad for me to lose my phone now.”

You snort against his shoulder, “You gonna keep it then?”

“Yeah? Fuck, I really like the way you beg for me. The whole panty thing is kind of funny but it’s really hot how badly you want my dick.”

You hide your face against his arm and try not to be smug.

You’re almost asleep when he says, “Did I put away the leftovers?”

(You don’t think he did but fuck it. You’ve eaten worse.)

**=== >**

TG : okay how the fuck do i wash these  
TT : I beg your pardon?  
TG : panties  
TG : how do you wash panties  
TG : they are basically non existent and yet they were really fucking expensive  
TG : i would greatly prefer not murdering them via washing machine so please enlighten me to the way of panty washing  
TT : It’s recommended you hand wash them, especially seeing how you have neither a lingerie bag nor any other sort of delicate items to wash them with.  
TG : fuck  
TG : god damn  
TG : how do you even stand this shit  
TG : what is wrong with underwear that actually contains all of your junk and doesnt have to be dry cleaned  
TT : Nothing, but they aren’t pretty and I dare say your boyfriend would prefer what I got you compared to more practical woman’s underwear.  
TG : uuuugh this was the worst idea  
TG : past me was a complete dumbfuck  
TT : You’re welcome ;)


End file.
